This joke was sent to me by Jimbo:
So I was in Tesco and I noticed this rather lovely blonde in another queue. Our eyes met, she raised her hand in a wave and smiled a “Hello” at me. I was rather taken aback that a looker like her would be waving at me. She did look familiar, but I couldn’t place where I might know her from. As luck would have it I saw her a few minutes later in the car park as she was unloading her shopping, so I approached her and asked, “Sorry, but do you know me?”
She replied, “I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my kids.”
Suddenly I was in a panic. My mind shot back to my one and only sexual indiscretion.
“F*ck!” I exclaimed far too loudly. “Are you the stripper from my stag do that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m your son’s English teacher.”