Ian Sealy's Blog » Funny

Which Superhero Are You?

Ian Sealy — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 20:40:36 +0000

Just came across “Which Superhero Are You?” on Techcrunch. Apparently, I’m 70% like Spider-Man. I’d rather have been Cyclops, even though he’s an idiot in the films.

Here are my results:

You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		70%
Superman		60%
Green Lantern		55%
Robin		40%
Catwoman		40%
Hulk		40%
Supergirl		33%
The Flash		30%
Wonder Woman		28%
Batman		25%
Iron Man		10%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Anyway, who are you?

Random Acts of Really Funny Terms

Ian Sealy — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 10:46:43 +0000

I’ve just read something really funny on Random Acts Of Reality, a popular blog written by someone who works for the London Ambulance Service.

Do you know what they call it when they’re called to an old lady who has fallen and can’t get back up?

Nan down!

Squirrel Regis

Ian Sealy — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 17:10:07 +0000

Q: What’s the difference between the squirrel and Tottenham?

A: The squirrel has Champions League experience.

Spawn of Satan

Ian Sealy — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 13:29:43 +0000

Finally, somebody agrees with me. Peas are evil.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1772402.html

Quote of the Week

Ian Sealy — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 08:13:24 +0000

My favourite quote this week surprisingly comes from The Sun:

REAL MADRID president Fernando Martin delivered a Champions League warning to Arsenal when he roared: “My players will eat you alive!”

But porky star Ronaldo already looked full to the brim when he waddled into London yesterday.

Rupert the Bear on trial

Ian Sealy — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 10:08:55 +0000

I can’t believe that they put Rupert the Bear on trial.

(This isn’t going to make much sense if the BBC change their photo.)

Am I Paddy Or Not Statistics

Ian Sealy — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 10:38:46 +0000

I’ve just been working out some stats for Am I Paddy Or Not? and the results are vaguely interesting. There have been 1238 votes and the percentages that think each particular person is Paddy are below.

Paddy	60.7%
Big Jim	26.3%
Phil Collins	24.7%
Stephen Hawking	22.4%
Homer Simpson	20.9%
Adam	20.7%
Martin	19.4%
Kieren	19.2%
Ian	18.1%
Chris	18.0%
Monty Python	13.8%
Anne	13.6%
Louise	13.5%
Bhagesh	12.1%

So 60% of people correctly identified Paddy as being Paddy, but over a quarter thought that Jim was Paddy. That’s probably because of their similar haircuts. A similar percentage also can’t tell the difference between Paddy and Phil Collins. I think we all thought that figure would be higher.

Bhagesh is the person who should be happiest. He’s least likely to be mistaken for Paddy. Surprisingly, Louise and Anne resemble Paddy more.

Christmas in Vietnam

Ian Sealy — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 08:44:10 +0000

Apparently in Vietnam they’re not allowed to put up Christmas decorations this year.

They will, however, be hanging glitter.

(That was courtesy of Micky, by the way.)

Dog zoo joke

Ian Sealy — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 18:33:47 +0000

A quick joke courtesy of my sister:

This bloke goes to a zoo, but when he gets there he finds that there’s just a single dog.

It was a shitzu.

Tesco joke

Ian Sealy — Sun, 06 Nov 2005 12:25:36 +0000

This joke was sent to me by Jimbo:

So I was in Tesco and I noticed this rather lovely blonde in another queue. Our eyes met, she raised her hand in a wave and smiled a “Hello” at me. I was rather taken aback that a looker like her would be waving at me. She did look familiar, but I couldn’t place where I might know her from. As luck would have it I saw her a few minutes later in the car park as she was unloading her shopping, so I approached her and asked, “Sorry, but do you know me?”

She replied, “I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my kids.”

Suddenly I was in a panic. My mind shot back to my one and only sexual indiscretion.

“F*ck!” I exclaimed far too loudly. “Are you the stripper from my stag do that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends?”

“No,” she replied, “I’m your son’s English teacher.”