I only got 7 / 12 on the BBC News site Biology quiz. How embarrassing!
Update: Louise got 10 / 12. I feel stupid.
Dog zoo joke
A quick joke courtesy of my sister:
This bloke goes to a zoo, but when he gets there he finds that there’s just a single dog.
It was a shitzu.
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Two Radcliffes
On our way back from Bristol this evening, Louise and I spontaneously decided to take a detour and drop in and visit A-M and check for ourselves that her belly button has indeed disappeared. It has.
Here’s something that might be helpful to people with friends in the John Radcliffe Hospital. It’s not the same hospital as the Radcliffe Infirmary. In fact, they’re three or four miles apart. And it’s quite difficult to park around the Radcliffe Infirmary, which is particularly annoying when you find out you didn’t actually have to. Apparently the Radcliffe Infirmary is being closed down. Presumably to stop other people getting confused.
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Tesco joke
This joke was sent to me by Jimbo:
So I was in Tesco and I noticed this rather lovely blonde in another queue. Our eyes met, she raised her hand in a wave and smiled a “Hello” at me. I was rather taken aback that a looker like her would be waving at me. She did look familiar, but I couldn’t place where I might know her from. As luck would have it I saw her a few minutes later in the car park as she was unloading her shopping, so I approached her and asked, “Sorry, but do you know me?”
She replied, “I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my kids.”
Suddenly I was in a panic. My mind shot back to my one and only sexual indiscretion.
“F*ck!” I exclaimed far too loudly. “Are you the stripper from my stag do that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m your son’s English teacher.”
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Brazilian joke
This joke was sent to me by Dave and Paul:
Donald Rumsfeld is briefing President Bush and tells him that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an ambush the previous night.
Bush puts his head in his hands and is obviously very distressed. His aides are a bit confused about why he’s taking this news so much to heart.
Then Bush finally lifts his head out of his hands and says, “So how many is a brazillion anyway?”
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Arsenal Members Day
I’ve finally made time to upload some pictures (almost all taken by Louise) from this year’s Arsenal Members Day. I think my favourite is the one of Neil and I with our badly dressed heroes.
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Zoo joke
This little kid really wants to go to the zoo and pesters his parents about it for days. Eventually his mother persuades his reluctant father to take him. When they get back, his mother asks how it went.
“Great,” replies the little kid.
Worried that her husband might not have enjoyed it as much, the mother asks, “So you and your Dad had a good time then?”
“Yeah, Dad liked it a lot,” replies the kid, “Especially when one of the animals came home at 20 to 1.”
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Swapping ` and \ keys on Windows XP
This is just some info that I no longer need but want to archive somewhere anyway because it took me a while to work out how to do it.
On my current Toshiba laptop, the ` (backtick) and \ (backslash) keys have swapped round compared to my previous Toshiba. At first I couldn’t get used to this, so I just swapped the keys round under Windows XP using:
REG ADD "HKLM\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Keyboard Layout" /v "Scancode Map" /t REG_BINARY /d 000000000000000000000003290056005600290000000000
I no longer need this for two reasons:
- I got used to the new layout.
- I rarely use Windows these days.
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